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Prognosis: A Memoir of My Brain (English Edition) Kindle版
The searing, wry memoir about a woman’s fight for a new life after a devastating brain injury.
When Sarah Vallance is thrown from a horse and suffers a jarring blow to the head, she believes she’s walked away unscathed. The next morning, things take a sharp turn as she’s led from work to the emergency room. By the end of the week, a neurologist delivers a devastating prognosis: Sarah suffered a traumatic brain injury that has caused her IQ to plummet, with no hope of recovery. Her brain has irrevocably changed.
Afraid of judgment and deemed no longer fit for work, Sarah isolates herself from the outside world. She spends months at home, with her dogs as her only source of companionship, battling a personality she no longer recognizes and her shock and rage over losing simple functions she’d taken for granted. Her life is consumed by fear and shame until a chance encounter gives Sarah hope that her brain can heal. That conversation lights a small flame of determination, and Sarah begins to push back, painstakingly reteaching herself to read and write, and eventually reentering the workforce and a new, if unpredictable, life.
In this highly intimate account of devastation and renewal, Sarah pulls back the curtain on life with traumatic brain injury, an affliction where the wounds are invisible and the lasting effects are often misunderstood. Over years of frustrating setbacks and uncertain triumphs, Sarah comes to terms with her disability and finds love with a woman who helps her embrace a new, accepting sense of self.
商品の説明
レビュー
“Powerful in its depiction of the author’s will to rise above the limitations of her disability… With a mission of giving voice to the voiceless, Vallance shares the little-understood experience of surviving a traumatic brain injury.” ―Kirkus Reviews
“Sarah Vallance was a PhD with a high-level career when a fall from a horse resulted in a traumatic brain injury that caused her IQ to plummet to 80. Given that she’s written a beautiful new memoir, you know she’s recovered―but her book is less about reaching that destination and more about learning to care for one’s self and others.” ―Washington Post
“One of the most astonishing books I’ve read in a long time…A testament to the determination of the human spirit to just survive, and live.” ―Curve Magazine
著者について
Sarah Vallance was born in Sydney. She graduated from City University of Hong Kong in 2013 with an MFA in creative writing. Her essays have earned her a Pushcart Prize. She has been published in the Gettysburg Review, the Sun, the Pinch, Asia Literary Review, and Post Road, among other places. Sarah was a Harkness Fellow at Harvard and holds a doctorate in government and public administration. She lives in Sydney with her wife and their three dogs and three cats. Prognosis is her first book.
登録情報
- ASIN : B07MDBSVNK
- 出版社 : Little A (2019/8/1)
- 発売日 : 2019/8/1
- 言語 : 英語
- ファイルサイズ : 1426 KB
- Text-to-Speech(テキスト読み上げ機能) : 有効
- X-Ray : 有効
- Word Wise : 有効
- 付箋メモ : Kindle Scribeで
- 本の長さ : 275ページ
- Amazon 売れ筋ランキング: - 466,776位洋書 (洋書の売れ筋ランキングを見る)
- - 757位Women
- - 2,151位Memoirs (Kindleストア)
- - 2,185位Women's Biographies
- カスタマーレビュー:
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Once again, when I got my selections for July Kindle First Reads, there was nothing that interested me (more of the same boring themes) until I got to the end of the list and saw this book. I read the description and decided to grab it because, though I've read several biographies and memoirs, the story behind this one was different from anything I've read before.
The first 30% of this book was not easy or quick for me to read because much of the beginning of the book has, if you'll forgive the pun, a lot to do with what's in the author's head before her accident and during her initial survival mode afterward. It took me a while (almost two months) to wade through that necessary-but-painful journey of self-discovery because I could only handle reading little bits at a time.
I couldn't help but put myself in her place and image the anxiety, fear, and utter loneliness and despair she must have felt. It was emotionally exhausting. This was particularly so because it was her own recklessness that landed her in this position, and so you feel empathy for her on this level, as well. Many of us feel invincible until we are proven wrong, and there are plenty of people who never take risks and still have terrible accidents. You just never know what will happen to you, and no one asks for something like this happen to them, even if it may seem like they "deserved" it through their actions. And, as we come to see, the author does learn through the experience, which in my opinion is more important than the circumstances surrounding how and why it happened in the first place.
Once the author starts to try to lead a normal life again, it moves more quickly, and I really could not put it down. I think I finished the last 60% yesterday, even staying up a bit late to do so.
It is well-written (which is astonishing once you understand what the author went through) and carefully thought out.
It has medical and scientific terminology, but it's nothing over-the-top, just enough so that you understand what is necessary for that point in time.
As I alluded to earlier, it is emotional, but not because the writing itself is emotionally charged (the tone is very matter-of-fact—emotional things happen but they are not written emotionally, if that makes sense). It is due to the intensity of how the injury affected her mentally and all of the personal growth that engendered. While you're reading, you know that, clearly, the author is going to be okay because she wrote the book you are reading, but the exploration and trials required to get to that point are excruciating to read on her behalf.
Not only is she dealing with new mental limitations that make the space in her own head feel completely foreign and unnavigable, she is also forced to examine her past self quite heavily to find the way forward and function in society. So many things come to light for her about the person she used to be, particularly in her interactions with other people.
“It took brain damage to make me realize how arrogant I had been.”
So many things her brain used to do that she took for granted were no longer possible. Some of these she does not discover until many years later, and each time she encounters one, it spirals her back to the beginning and makes her feel like she really has not progressed at all, no matter how much she has accomplished in the interim.
In essence, the accident gave her one massive identity crisis inside a brain that no longer functioned through familiar pathways.
Along with all of this self-discovery, it explores areas in which we can find (often unexpectedly) help, inspiration, and hope.
From the healing connections we can have with animals...
“The dogs are the reason I am still here.”
To serendipitous meetings with kind strangers...
“I walked away and never saw her again, but it didn't matter. Without knowing it, she had changed my life.”
It also reminded me a bit of the Spoon Theory, which is a blog post written by a woman with Lupus. People do not believe it when the blogger tells them she is sick or too tired or doesn't have the energy to even brush her teeth. Finally, when a friend says to her during lunch, "But you don't look sick!", the blogger lays some spoons out on the table. The blogger then asks her friend to describe her day in minute detail, and with each activity the friend mentions, the blogger removes a spoon. Getting out of bed, getting dressed, brushing her teeth, preparing breakfast, eating breakfast, all of these "cost" one spoon. In the end, the blogger "has no more spoons" and the friend hasn't even gotten to work yet in the description of her day. The blogger's friend begins to realize how the blogger has to be choosy in "spending" her spoons each day to ensure that she has the energy to do what is needful.
The author of this book went through something similar, particularly toward the end when she felt that her memory and other skills were getting worse (reverting back to the way things were when she first had her accident) and making it difficult for her to function, both mentally and emotionally. No one close to her believed it and they all thought she was either pretending (for attention, for sympathy, for excuses in bad behavior, for whatever reason) or delusional. This fallacy that illness is only real or "counts" when the physical toll of it can be witnessed is a valid frustration for many people, and I was happy to see the author address it.
In the end, this woman who was told she would never have a full and successful life did just that. She retaught herself how to read, comprehend what she wrote, write coherently, and spell. She held several high-level jobs, wrote several research papers, had relationships (the final being successful after meeting the right person and undergoing so much personal growth), got her PhD, traveled the world, repaired a broken family relationship, and more.
I found this unusual book inspiring, it has good life lessons in it, and I learned a lot about brain injuries which was a topic I had never explored before.
My biggest issue with this book is that the author seems to be utterly immune to good advice. Of course it's admirable how much she's achieved against all expectations. However, this book felt more like a chronicle of her work and love life while googling every possible side effect of her brain injury and making herself paranoid of everything that might happen and everything people might think. Very rarely does she actually seek out medical professionals and for all her fear about the state of her brain doesn't manage to sit through an MRI scan or to listen to recommendations about how she should take care of herself.
I don't know how many times she's told that regular exercise and moderate to no alcohol consumption would benefit her greatly, but instead of changing her habits she just keeps on googling, giving too much weight to IQ test results, and making herself miserable. This goes on for years and years, until she finally cuts back on alcohol (which she laments about very regularly) and meets her future wife who (again) encourages her to exercise and buys her a sports bra, which the author calls "the saddest present ever"... She is advised to see a psychiatrist 10 to 15 years before she actually seeks out therapy and blames everything on her TBI, whereas probably everyone with her family history should take care of their mental health with or without head injury.
In the end, this book lacks self-reflection to the point where it difficult to finish reading. All it inspires is hope that the author will take better care of herself mentally and physically in the future.
Sarah Vallance has written one of the most remarkable and memorable autobiographies I’ve read. It’s powerful, articulate and an extraordinary story of a personal fight against the odds.
Sarah suffered serious brain trauma after being catapulted from horseback. Initially, she seemed OK, but after a day or two, it became clear that she was brain injured. The effects were devastating, personally, professionally and intellectually. Prognosis is her brave, honest and totally compelling account of what happened over some 20+ years.
I can’t begin to imagine what it must be like to suddenly face the world without and anchor. Remove all the norms by which we act and make judgements. Everything we take for granted, day in and day out. Sarah allows us some insight into that different, challenging and confusing world she faced, daily. She does so with candour, humour and compassion. How does one deal with moving from being a respected senior professional, on the verge of a PhD to someone credited with an IQ of 80, offered a job stuffing rags into soft toys?
This is heartbreaking but ultimately uplifting story. It’s a privilege to learn and understand how perseverance, with a large dose of bloody mindedness, can defy the odds. I’m humbled by her achievements and I’d urge anyone with ev3n a remote interest in h7man nature to read this book. It’s one which will stay with me for some time.
I read this book in a single sitting. The narrative is tight and fast and the 'characters' are engaging. If your worldview is exclusively heteronormative or you're looking for a manual on recovery from TBI then move on. If you like to read well written stories of real people overcoming real obstacles then this might just be for you.