Recently, I've been looking into Psychology, Philosophy, and self-help related books. I had watched some informative videos about the FA (forever alone) community. It gave me the idea about looking into emotion and neglect. I found some posts on Reddit about emotional neglect. There I found some links to Webb's articles. What she described of emotional neglect, it really reminded me of a lot of the things I faced growing up, and even now.
"Most people as adults greatly underestimate the extent to which the are influenced by their parent's programing."
How true that is. I wouldn't say I had a BAD childhood, but I did grow up angry, depressed and hating others. I didn't understand where this feeling was coming from. I thought I was faking it but how can you fake that? I felt my feelings weren't justified. Maybe it was just a thing we all go through growing up? Even though my friends didn't seem to have the same feelings? Now I realize it was more than that. I never realized it would have been from unresolved issues from my parent's divorce and living with my permissive/helicopter parent father. Reading the stories in this book helped me recognize the common issues and see what happened in my childhood wasn't healthy of normal. Most parents DO or are supposed to take an interest in their child's life, their feelings, and set limits and boundaries.
However, in my case, I didn't have this. So, I grew up not knowing myself well or at all. I didn't know my strength and weaknesses. When I reached my 20s and started living on my own, I had to battle with overindulgence and the constant rocking between two extremes of indulgence and abstinence. It's just like how this book describes. I never had that firm yet caring adult figure growing up. So I have this constant (made up) adult voice in my head that either tells me everything is okay or nothing is okay at certain times.
Thanks to this book, the biggest take away I got from it was about emotions. Feelings aren't bad, and you shouldn't feel bad for expressing them. It's important to recognize your feelings and put them into words. Don't bottle it up. I grew up denying a lot of my own feelings. Mostly out of fear of sharing myself. Nowadays, I'm trying to open up more and enjoy sharing parts of myself with others. Weight lifting and quitting alcohol entirely have also helped boost my self confidence.
Although, I feel like I got a lot out of reading this book, I can't give it more than two stars. The first half is entirely stories. While interesting, they're all the same thing sort of thing. But, the stories are at least more interesting than the second half. It's boring and not written in an engaging way. It felt like padding to meet a certain page number. Especially because of all the schedule templates and a list of emotion words. The information presented repeats itself far too much or it's the same thing reworded differently. If the author didn't do that then it might have felt less long. I didn't even bother to read the last two chapters. They had nothing to do with me anyway. I'm neither a parent or a therapist. But from the looks of it, it looks like the same repeated ideas but through the lens of a parent or a therapist.
Running on Empty unfortunately also doesn't give many answers on what to do next. read this book because I think I have this problem and I would like to know how to fix it or live with it better. She mentions some things like learn to say no, and filling out progress charts. She touches on somethings like loving yourself and treating yourself, but I enjoyed how Jordan Peterson talked about it in his book more. And so other than those things seeing a therapist seemed like the best advice she gives. Huh, really??
I paid 1,100 yen (about 11 USD) for my copy of this on Kindle. I think this book isn't worth that. It has some interesting ideas, and I reflected a lot of my past. But it just doesn't have much meat to it. I do look forward to reading more about emotional neglect but only if it's a book that goes more in-depth rather than scratch the surface.
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他の国からのトップレビュー
chloe light
Very insightful and helpful to understand
2024年4月20日にアメリカ合衆国でレビュー済みAmazonで購入
Rafael Bianco
Bom mas poderia ser melhor
2022年11月13日にブラジルでレビュー済みAmazonで購入
Dipak Kumar Das
Incredible 🤩
2023年8月18日にインドでレビュー済みAmazonで購入
Nadine
Excellent livre
2023年7月6日にフランスでレビュー済みAmazonで購入
ony
This book made so much sense, wish I had found it 20 years ago
2022年5月5日にドイツでレビュー済みAmazonで購入
